I’ve never seen a twilight movie or read a book before so I thought it would be fun to write down everything I know about the series in one incredibly incorrect post.
Bella moves to Forks Washington to live with her dad and it always rains
She meets an asian kid in high school and falls in love with Edward and sits next to him in biology
She meets the other Cullens in the cafeteria and they don’t like her
She almost gets killed by a van and Edward saves her
She gets a piggyback from Edward and they jump around the forest
The black eyed peas murder a guy on a dock and then play baseball against the Cullens
Bella gets attacked in a ballet studio for some reason and Edward saves her
Bella goes to Edward’s house for her engagement party and gets a papercut and Edwards family tries to kill her so they break up and Bella sits in a spinning room for 6 months and then tries to kill herself just so she can see Edward
Jacob is all like Bella I love you and Bella decides she loves Jacob
Edward is all sad and stuff so he’s going to kill himself by sparkling to death in Italy in front of the Volturi who wear red cloaks and are vampire governement
Bella decides she loves Edward more than Jacob and she drives to Italy in a yellow Lamborghini
Edward shows off his gross pale abs and Bella jumps in front of him and the volturi are mad at her and the movie ends
THE THIRD ONE
Edward and Bella are in love but the Volturi are like “no way josé” so they send Dakota Fanning to kill them
They go in the woods and Edward and Bella are still in love
A woman with red hair jumps over a waterfall
Dakota Fanning goes into the woods to kill Bella
Jacob and his werewolf buddies save Bella
Jacob and Edward protect Bella together
Bella and Edward get married and then bang
Bella gets pregnant and the baby grows really fast
Bella’s going to die and the baby is eating her so Edward rips open her stomach with his teeth and Jacob takes out the baby and bites the umbilical cord off
Edward bites Bella (again, because apparently chewing through her didn’t do the trick) and she turns into a vampire
Edward and Bella name their baby Renee Zellweger
Jacob falls in love with the baby
The baby grows up really fast and falls in love with Jacob
Bella and Edward and Renee Zellweger and Jacob live happily ever after
push straight people who are riding bikes off of their bikes
have gay lunch
go for a gay walk in the gay park
go to gay work and make gay money
go gay shopping
buy gay things
have gay dinner
pray that America will be destroyed
watch a gay television programme on a gay television set
go to sleep
have gay dreams
Yes, yes, this is all pretty accurate, but you forgot the part where we go to schools and turn straight parents’ kids gay with our magical gay powers so that they will join our glitter armies and march with us as we drag the planet into eternal hellfire.
I'd love the 'recipes' for Across the Pond, Boom Boom Bazzinga and Rainy Day Fund from your franken-polishes :)
No problem! :) I didn’t actually use measuring spoons, I just eyeballed everything and I’m just giving a rough measurement per nail polish. If you need empty bottles for nail polish, you can order some off of Amazon. I bought a set of 6 for under $9.
For Across The Pond I used roughly a teaspoon of a dark/medium teal cream from Icing, a full bottle of Essence in Hard To Resist, about teaspoon of Nostalgic and Purge from L.A. Girl Glitter Addict, about 1/2 a teaspoon of both loose glitter in green and light blue, and filled the bottle with top coat and shook that bottle like crazy.
For Boom Boom Bazzinga I just used a little less than a third of a bottle of clear and mixed in Milani Jewel FX in Gold and Sinful Colors in Paris until the bottle was about 98% full.
And for Rainy Day Fund I used about a fourth of a bottle of clear, about a table spoon of Sally Hansen Salon Complete in Dorian Grey, a teaspoon of Sinful Colors Snow Me White, and then about a tablespoon each of Milani Jewel FX in Gems and Gold.
can you explain how you did your nails? the lord of the rings
I used the nail decal technique where you paint the design onto a plastic freezer bag with the words printed out small enough to fit onto my nails onto a piece of paper and put it underneath the bag. I found out about this technique through this tutorial.